Chapter 11: Entangled
So this was what true intimacy felt like... not just the simple pressing of lips.
Song Hemei found the sensation at this moment exceedingly strange.
The sucking sensation on her lower lip had not yet faded before her upper lip suffered the same fate. The tip of her nose was filled with the clean scent of ink and soap from the man before her, causing her heart to race involuntarily, its pounding thuds making her ears ache.
This unfamiliar feeling overwhelmed her, as if she could scarcely bear it. Her body's instinct screamed at her to retreat, and it was at that moment that something touched the tip of her tongue.
Warm and soft, yet forceful. Agile and tenacious.
Her breath, interrupted for so long, finally caused her head to spin. She subconsciously hunched her shoulders to endure it. Only when her tongue was entangled and drawn outward did her muddled mind finally register what this truly was.
But it was already too late. That sucking sensation moved from her lips to her tongue, finally spreading a numbing tingle all the way to the root of her tongue, even sparking a faint ache.
An involuntary, stifled moan escaped her throat. Without thinking, she pressed closer to the man before her, her hands, which had been resting on his shoulders, naturally sliding up to encircle his neck, until she collided with his chest.
"Mei'er, open the door."
The knocking came again, and that irritating voice drifted in once more: "Mei'er, have you been crying?"
"Don't be sad. You… you're making me so worried! Open the door, I just want to see you. Just one glance, alright?"
The voice wound its way in through the door, drifting about in a circle, failing to enter the ears of either person in the room.
Song Hemei's attention was divided from the numbing, tingling sensation on her tongue and lips, shifting some of it to her waist.
Yu Yeqing's long arm swept around, landing precisely at her waist. With a slight application of force, he pulled her abdomen flush against his. In this weather, just on the cusp of summer, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body.
It burned hotter and hotter, an uncontrollable, searing heat.
The knocking continued, but Song Hemei was on the verge of suffocation. Her arms, looped around Yu Yeqing's neck, moved, patting his back. Only then did their intertwined breathing separate, replaced by their mutual, low, synchronized gasps.
Yu Yeqing's gaze grew even deeper. It was a masculine sense of oppressive pressure that descended upon her. His long arm could encircle her and hold her in his embrace, making her feel that as long as he willed it, she could never break free.
So, this was proper intimacy… far more than just lips pressed to lips.
No wonder some people were said to become addicted to it.
Song Hemei's gaze traveled from his Adam's apple upward, landing on his thin lips. A belated sense of unease washed over her, as if she was only now realizing what this closeness truly meant.
It wasn't an impulsive act driven by a fit of anger. It wasn't a reckless act of revenge without regard for consequences.
It was simply a man and a woman, moved by passion, entrusting the most fragile and sensitive parts of themselves to the other, allowing the other to lead them to a state where every inch of their body tingled.
This feeling of shyness had arrived a bit late, but now that they had reached this point, showing that timid, fearful side would be somewhat embarrassing.
She boldly moved her gaze upward, landing squarely on Yu Yeqing's deep, dark brows and eyes. She intended to meet his gaze frankly and openly, but she realized he wasn't looking at her. He was staring at her lips.
The only thing that didn't match his stern, composed, and dignified face was the faint redness at the tips of his ears.
"Mei'er, why aren't you saying anything again? Nothing's wrong, is it?"
Shao Wen'ang's anxious voice came again, the knocking growing louder.
When he received no reply, he stepped back twice. "Mei'er, I'm coming in. Move back a bit so I don't startle you."
Immediately after, a heavy thud crashed against the door.
Song Hemei was indeed startled. Instinctively, she pressed even closer into Yu Yeqing's embrace, her eyes snapping towards the door.
But then, just as Shao Wen'ang was about to slam into it a second time, Yu Yeqing's other hand lifted, his palm pressing flat against the door, firmly bracing it, cutting off any possibility of him breaking it down.
She heard him call out in a low voice, "Second Miss Song."
Song Hemei had never noticed before how steady and pleasant Yu Yeqing's voice was. Especially at a time like this, compared to that annoying voice outside, it accentuated his composure and reliability.
However, staring into his eyes, she couldn't quite tell what he meant by that call.
An inquiry? A halt? Or… an encouragement?
Song Hemei felt her mouth go dry. Regardless of whether he was urging her on, she knew she wanted to continue, especially with that person outside disrupting things.
She stepped forward directly, pushing Yu Yeqing back against the door. Then, she addressed the person outside: "Go away, far away! I don't want to see you again!"
Shao Wen'ang froze, looking as if all his strength had been drained away. He approached the door again, step by step. "Mei'er, I truly know I was wrong."
His voice choked with emotion. "If I had known that obeying my mother would make you this angry, that it would bring me to the brink of losing you, I would never have allowed Lingchun to serve me."
He was remorseful, he was ashamed, he pleaded for forgiveness with every ounce of his being.
But Song Hemei had begun to enjoy the gentle treatment her lips and teeth were receiving.
This time was different from before. It was soft and slow, carrying a lingering, tender quality.
This allowed her to sink into the moment while still having the leisure to contemplate Shao Wen'ang's words.
Obeying his mother's orders? He really was his mother's good son. This one act of obedience had him bed a maidservant, faithfully following his mother's wishes for five whole years.
Now, if that obedient, good son were to know what she was doing on the other side of this single door, what would his reaction be?
The mere thought of it quickened Song Hemei's heartbeat, a secret feeling of vindication and satisfaction welling up inside her.
Had Shao Wen'ang felt the same way when he kissed Cao Lingchun?
After pledging his lifelong commitment to her, when he returned to Cao Lingchun and their lips met, did he also indulge in that stolen feeling of pleasure and satisfaction?
How unfair it was. He had enjoyed such a beautiful experience for a full five years, never stopping, not even during the period of mourning for his grandfather.
Outside the door, Shao Wen'ang rested his forehead against the door panel. Whether it was from being moved by his own words or not, tears actually began to fall. "Mei'er, I beg you, just come out and see me…"
Song Hemei didn't want to pay him any attention. But in the brief moment after their tongues touched and then parted, something suddenly occurred to her. She gradually separated herself from Yu Yeqing. Her hands, which had been looped around his neck, withdrew, and she patted him lightly on the chest, signaling him to let go.
Yu Yeqing pressed his thin lips together, looking at the woman before him. His body went stiff, unsure if what he felt was lingering impulse or simple unwillingness to let go.
But what he received in return was two more light pats on his chest. "Alright now, Young Master Yu, let go. You've done very well today, fitting my expectations. I won't let you go unrewarded."
A fair exchange, perfectly reasonable.
Yu Yeqing's hands clenched tighter within his sleeves. That surge of improper elation receded, crashing down like a wave, ruthlessly casting him back down to his original station.
Song Hemei straightened her own clothes, then tilted her chin towards the screen in the inner room, whispering, "Go and hide in there for a while."
Even if she didn't want to, she had to leave the room now, or else she was afraid she'd bring her parents and everyone else running over.
Yu Yeqing lowered his dark eyes. His tall, slender frame, which had been leaning against the door, straightened. A strand of his dark hair was still wound around Song Hemei's fingertip.
Song Hemei looked up at him. At this moment, she felt like a faithless lover herself, and couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. She wanted to say something, but Yu Yeqing had already gone behind the screen as she had instructed.
The strand of hair slipped from her fingertip. Song Hemei snapped back to reality, took a deep breath, and pulled open the door. She was met with Shao Wen'ang's bloodshot eyes.
Alternating shock and joy flickered across his face, and he made a move to step into the room. "Mei'er, you finally agree to see me. I was so worried something might have happened to you in there—"
Song Hemei raised her hand to stop him, frowning with displeasure. "I'm in my own room. What on earth could happen to me?"
The Shao family were scholars, so Shao Wen'ang naturally had the refined, delicate air of a bookish man from head to toe. Now, with his reddened eyes and the corner of his forehead wrapped in fine white cloth, the way he gazed at her with such tender, devoted feeling truly lived up to the saying about the sentimental nature of the literati.
She couldn't deny that she had once been charmed by such a man.
Now that the initial outburst of anger and revenge had subsided, she could at least exchange a few proper words with him.
"Say everything you need to say at once, then go back to the Shao residence as soon as possible."
A panicked expression immediately appeared on Shao Wen'ang's face. "Mei'er, if you won't come with me today, I'm not leaving. You are my lawfully wedded wife. Didn't we promise to hold hands for life?"
A weight settled in Song Hemei's heart. The sweetness of the past was now like filth and mire mixed together, churned into a foul mess he was trying to force-feed her. It was disgustingly unbearable.
"Enough. If you only want to say things like that, you can save your breath."
She turned to close the door, but Shao Wen'ang raised a hand and caught the doorframe, preventing her from shutting it. "Mei'er, can you truly bear to let me go?"
"I know you still have feelings for me. Don't you know how I feel about you? I never took Lingchun to heart. She was just someone to teach me about worldly matters. Every young master goes through it at a certain age. It's no different from playing pitch-pot or cricket fighting—just entertainment. I know you are upset about the child in her belly—"
"Entertainment?" Song Hemei cut him off.
She looked at the man before her, who spoke these words with such a sense of entitlement, and couldn't suppress a light, mocking laugh. "If it's just entertainment, then what's wrong with me having such entertainment with other men?"
Shao Wen'ang was silenced, an indescribable, helpless smile spreading across his face. "Mei'er, don't say such angry things. How can a young lady be compared to a young master?"
He grabbed her hand. "I know you're concerned about the child. But even if it's born, it'll only be a concubine's son. It can never surpass our child. Think about it, once we have a child of our own, wouldn't it be good for them to have an older brother or sister to look out for them? Haven't you always said how much you like the feeling of having an older brother to back you up? Our own children can have that too."
The anger in Song Hemei's heart was rekindled by his words. She violently pulled her hand away. "Is this what you came all this way to say to me today?"
"You deceived me for five years, and you actually believe a child is the only thing that matters?"
Seeing the change in her expression, Shao Wen'ang hurriedly pleaded, "No, that's not what I meant. I know I was wrong. I just want to beg you to forgive me this once. Just this once. It will never happen again."
Forgive him?
Song Hemei thought of Fang Yiyun's words. She felt that this man before her wasn't even as good as Yiyun's husband. That beast would at least kneel when admitting his faults, but Shao Wen'ang only offered empty words.
He claimed over and over that he only hid the truth because he didn't want to make her angry. Yet he had kept it so tightly under wraps only up to their wedding. On the very day her bridal sedan chair was carried into the Shao residence, he couldn't hide it any longer, letting a heavily pregnant Cao Lingchun deliver food to her.
What was that supposed to be? A provocation? A test of her limits?
Or did he believe that once she had entered the Shao family's gates, she would never be able to leave, forcing her to just swallow her pride and accept it?
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