Chapter 66: Breaking In
Song Hemei's tone was firm, leaving no room for negotiation, yet her words fell like a stone into the sea, met with a long silence.
Her father's eyes were already clouded, clearly looking at her, but his gaze couldn't seem to focus. She took a deep breath: "Father, you heard me clearly, didn't you?"
Father Song pressed a hand to his chest, frowning: "Why have you brought this up again? I can agree to anything else, but an amicable divorce is out of the question."
Her mother, who had been wiping tears in the outer room, couldn't help but step forward, leaning against the screen: "Mei'er, your father is ill. Don't anger him."
Father sighed and shook his head, seemingly disappointed. He probably thought his beloved daughter would say something comforting, or at least inquire about his health, but instead, he heard only words of defiance.
Song Hemei forced herself to harden her heart further. She still stood not far from the bed, calmly looking down at her father: "When I brought it up before, Father perhaps still harbored some absurd reasons. But now it's different. What if I said that the Shao family will drag us down with them?"
"Father, why do you think I came back? Shao Wen'ang is restless. The Imperial Capital sent an Investigating Censor who stayed in Linzhou for many days. The Linzhou officials are already exhausted dealing with him. And now that Investigating Censor has come to Changzhou. What do you think that means?"
Father Song's dry lips parted, but for a long time, he couldn't utter a single word.
Song Hemei put it bluntly: "I don't know the details of Senior Lord Shao's affairs, but I doubt they will end well. I am still with Shao Wen'ang now. If the day truly comes when someone comes to confiscate property and exterminate the entire clan, and they say that Shao Wen'ang and I haven't completed the full ritual—do you think the officials handling the case will bother to verify whether it's true or false?"
Father Song leaned against his soft pillow, breathing lightly. After a long silence, he only said: "Mei'er, you're overthinking. This is just speculation."
Song Hemei choked on her breath: "It's precisely because of this speculation that we should prepare for the worst. If we don't look ahead for such matters, are we supposed to wait until the knife is at our throats to admit I was right? Father, have you forgotten? You and Mother are also counted among his wife's family."
Father Song's clouded eyes lowered, as if contemplating something, but when he spoke again, it was still the same two words: "No."
He raised a hand, wanting to grasp his daughter's, but he couldn't get up. Though the distance wasn't far, even reaching out his fingertips was difficult.
"Mei'er, stop making a scene. If you truly go through with an amicable divorce, what will become of you? Everyone knows you've been married, that you have a child. What family would still want you? Your father is doing this for your own good. After I'm gone, at least you'll have a husband to protect you."
Song Hemei's expression had already turned extremely unpleasant, and her tone grew heavier: "Protect me? If something really happens, believe me—he'll see me as a burden and be glad to be rid of me. He's not someone to rely on. Why won't you see that?"
Anger surged in her heart, and she was already feeling dizzy. Now her legs felt weak, and she nearly stumbled.
She walked slowly to a round stool nearby, steadying herself on the table as she sat down: "To be honest, Father, before I came in, I thought of many words to persuade you. But the moment I saw you, I already knew this would be the outcome. Yet I still wanted to try—to see if Father could grant me this one thing, like when I was young, when even if I was being willful, you would still indulge me."
Song Hemei's eyes lowered slightly, and her usually straight back slumped: "All these years, I've kept wondering—what do I truly mean to my parents? You worry that no one will protect me after you're gone, yet the solution you came up with is to keep me in the Shao family. There are so many ways, but you chose the one that makes my life worse than death."
Her throat tightened with sobs, and her gaze, which had been fixed on some random spot on the floor, gradually blurred.
"You didn't establish a separate household for me, you didn't leave me any money to protect myself, and you didn't even plan to take me back and find me another husband. Instead, you just told me to make do in the Shao family—as if the rest of my life should be like this: not cold, not hungry, not beaten, with food to eat—and that's supposed to be my good fortune?"
Her father's breathing grew heavier, and he couldn't speak. But her mother, who had been listening from behind the screen, was already crying uncontrollably. She rushed over and embraced her tightly.
"Child, what nonsense are you talking about? Do you think your parents don't want what's best for you? But—but you're already married into the Shao family. The marriage document doesn't matter—you've bowed to Heaven and Earth, you've bowed to the Shao ancestors! You're a Shao woman for life! If you go through with an amicable divorce, all those Shao ancestors will watch you from above. Do you understand? Heaven and Earth will know you're an unfaithful woman. What good days will you have then?"
Song Hemei felt a throbbing pain at her temples. She even wondered if she was running a fever, muddled to the point of not understanding words anymore.
But the force of her mother's embrace was real, and the tears falling on her were real.
Her mother genuinely believed this. That was more ridiculous than any other reason. She wanted to argue back, but the words were so archaic and absurd that any retort that came to her lips turned into a scornful, disbelieving laugh.
"Mother, how can you be so muddle-headed? Ancestors, Heaven and Earth—I simply—"
Before she could finish, her mother's face filled with alarm as she reached up to cover her mouth: "Child, don't talk nonsense!"
Song Hemei felt the pain in her temples worsen, and the strength in her body seemed to drain away.
She reached up and pulled her mother's hand down. All her counterarguments dissolved into a single sigh: "I understand."
She pushed herself up from the round table, swaying slightly from unsteadiness. Her mother reached out to support her, but she gently pushed her away.
"I understand what Father and Mother mean. But I absolutely do not agree. I originally wanted to ask for Father's written consent to make things proper and avoid any future gossip. But do you know, I am still a free woman. At worst, I can simply leave the Shao family, go somewhere else, and no one can claim I am his wife."
Song Hemei lifted her eyes, meeting her mother's astonished gaze and the faint anger hidden in her father's expression. She curled her lips into a smile: "If things turn ugly, then let it be. From now on, it's as if the Song family has no daughter. Whether the Shao side can be satisfied or not, it doesn't matter. In the end, we simply never see each other again. Or you could just say I died—that would preserve the righteous reputation you want, Father and Mother."
Upon hearing this, Mother Song raised her hand to strike her, truly enraged, landing a heavy blow on her back: "Who told you to say such rebellious, unlucky words!"
If it had been a normal day, she might have handled it, but now she could barely stand. Staggering from the blow, she didn't want to stay and continue the argument. Taking a deep breath, she said: "I've said my piece. I won't disturb your rest any longer."
She took her mother's wrist, pressed her shoulder to make her sit down, then turned and left the room.
Chunhui had been waiting for her at the door. Seeing her deathly pale face as she came out, she immediately stepped forward to support her: "Madam, you look terrible. Let me call a doctor to take a look."
Song Hemei felt as if she was being burned by this stifling anger. She shook her head slightly: "No need for now. Let me go back and rest."
She leaned into Chunhui's arms, and with each step, her feet felt more unsteady.
But she really didn't dare call a doctor. After all, she felt guilty for doing something improper. What if the doctor felt her pulse and discovered what she had done?
She couldn't tell whether her current dizziness and fatigue were from being chilled by the cold wind or from exhaustion due to excessive depletion of yin energy.
In truth, having just spoken harshly to her parents, she should leave immediately to preserve her dignity. Moreover, it wasn't even dark yet. But even though she had such thoughts, she couldn't act impulsively.
Travel required household registration and road permits. Living alone required money to support herself. None of these could be obtained on a whim.
Walking step by step toward her own courtyard, she suddenly remembered something: "Where's Lianzhu? Why hasn't he come to make a fuss?"
"He's still in the eldest young madam's courtyard. She took a great liking to the little young master and insisted on keeping him overnight."
Song Hemei nodded. Her sister-in-law had always loved children, but unfortunately, she hadn't conceived after several years. Every time she saw Lianzhu, she was overjoyed.
But the human heart is sometimes strange. After years of childlessness, it had become a deep knot in her sister-in-law's heart. Usually, when she heard of someone becoming pregnant, she couldn't help but make snide remarks—either saying that a woman in her twenties having a second child was like an old clam birthing a pearl, or implying that a young woman couldn't stay put.
Yet this same person deeply adored Lianzhu.
Perhaps because she knew he wasn't her child, or maybe because she would never have a child of her own and could only raise someone else's blood, her sister-in-law felt a kind of pity or sympathy—a sense of kinship with sorrow—which made her feelings toward Lianzhu so nuanced.
Still, she was worried that Lianzhu might interfere with her sister-in-law's hopes of bearing a child, so she could only say tactfully: "Go tell my sister-in-law later—if Lianzhu disturbs her and my elder brother at night, send him back immediately."
Chunhui replied: "I already asked. She said the eldest young master has gone back to his maternal family on business and won't be back for a few days."
Song Hemei paused in her steps but continued after a moment.
She let out a barely perceptible cold laugh. There was no real business—he had probably deliberately avoided her, hadn't he?
When someone makes a mistake, they must answer for it. When someone owes a debt, they must repay it. Where was the sense in running away like this?
Song Hemei felt even more dizzy and forced herself to stop thinking about these tangled matters. She just held on until she reached her room, then quickly lay down to rest.
The moment she slept, she fell into a deep, hazy slumber.
Her body alternated between hot and cold. Her dreams shifted and changed. Sometimes she couldn't tell whether she was awake or dreaming.
She opened her eyes a few times in a daze. It seemed Chunhui placed a cool cloth on her forehead and fed her several sips of water. Then she fell asleep again, unaware of what time it was.
But her constitution wasn't too weak. After sweating a few times, she felt much better. When her consciousness cleared a little, she opened her eyes to find that outside, the sky was completely dark. A candlestick was placed not far from her bed, illuminating only half her body.
She swallowed; her throat still felt sore. She had to call out: "Chunhui, bring me some water."
When Chunhui kept vigil, she usually slept on a small daybed outside. Song Hemei didn't have the strict rules of having servants sleep on spring benches or outside the room. Unless she was ill like this, she didn't even require anyone to keep vigil at all.
As soon as she spoke, she sensed someone approaching. She closed her eyes, which were dry from the fever. When she felt the person reach her side, she tried to sit up, but suddenly a warm hand pressed against her back, steadily supporting her.
Startled half out of her wits by this unusual sensation, Song Hemei turned her head abruptly and saw the person beside her looking down at her. His usually stern and cold brows now held a hint of inquiry: "Didn't you want water?"
Gritting her teeth, Song Hemei immediately shoved him: "Are you trying to scare me to death?"
She raised a hand to her pounding heart, still catching her breath from the shock: "How did you get in?"
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