Chapter 32
Song Jinzhi was not frail; she knew that as an Omega, she was physically weaker than most, and exercise had long been a habit of hers. She rarely fell ill, and all of her recent discomforts seemed to be tied to Gu Sijiu. Her body radiated a dry heat unlike her usual heat periods. Her throat was parched, her nose felt stuffed, and even breathing became labored.
Song Jinzhi curled herself into a tight ball. Her skin was alarmingly hot to the touch, yet she felt a deep chill inside her. There was pain, she couldn't pinpoint where, or maybe many places hurt at once. In that moment, she suddenly remembered that someone had once held her when she felt this miserable and promised to stay by her side no matter what. A pity... that person was long gone.
"Wake up and take your medicine." Gu Sijiu stood anxiously by the bed, watching Song Jinzhi's pained state. She had been resting in her room when she heard noise downstairs. Realizing Song Jinzhi had returned, she decided to go down and check. The moment she stepped out of her room, she saw that person swaying unsteadily on the stairs, looking ready to collapse at any second.
Song Jinzhi had already reached the middle of the staircase. When Gu Sijiu saw her pitch forward, there was no time to think; she dashed over and caught her. A headfirst tumble from that height would have been disastrous. In that moment, Gu Sijiu was fiercely grateful for an Alpha's strength; without it, she could never have held Song Jinzhi steady.
She helped her into the bedroom and felt Song Jinzhi's burning forehead, discovering the fever. She wanted to take her to the hospital, but the mere mention of the word "hospital" seemed to trigger fierce resistance. Even drifting in and out of consciousness, Song Jinzhi clutched the bedsheet with desperate strength, unwilling to let go, mumbling a string of "don't want to go." Gu Sijiu was at a loss, so she decided to keep her at home for now, give her some medicine, and see if the fever would go down before making any further decisions.
Gu Sijiu set the glass of warm water aside and rested her hand lightly on Song Jinzhi's shoulder, patting it with a gentle touch. In sleep, Song Jinzhi had shed all her defenses against her. She looked like a harmless kitten, curled into herself. Her face was pale and nearly bloodless, her cheeks perhaps even a little thinner than when she had first moved in. Her hair was loose, and her frail body seemed as if it might vanish at any moment.
It was then that Gu Sijiu realized: was living here with her putting that much pressure on Song Jinzhi? Even though Gu Sijiu knew she was not that scumbag original host, Song Jinzhi did not. Ask anyone, living alongside someone who had once abused you, day after day, could never be pleasant.
Thinking this, Gu Sijiu found Song Jinzhi rather pitiful, but she also understood that what Song Jinzhi needed wasn't her pity. It was for her to get as far away as possible. Gu Sijiu wanted that too, but she simply couldn't. Staying away was impossible. The only thing she could do was let her actions and the passage of time prove that she was nothing like that scumbag original host.
"Song Jinzhi, wake up. If you don't get up, I'm going to pinch your cheeks." Gu Sijiu made a show of threatening her, but the sound of her own voice softened without her realizing it. Song Jinzhi, however, gave no reaction to these words. Gu Sijiu felt a little helpless. She simply grabbed a lock of her own hair and began brushing it back and forth, over and over, against Song Jinzhi's earlobe.
After a while, Song Jinzhi could finally bear the tickling no longer and slowly woke up. Her vision was still blurry as she struggled into consciousness. She blinked, and after a few seconds, she could make out Gu Sijiu beside the bed. A faint disappointment flickered through Song Jinzhi, followed by self mockery. Yes, who else but Gu Sijiu would appear at her side at a time like this?
"You're the one who helped me inside?" Song Jinzhi hadn't forgotten the reassuring embrace she'd felt before passing out. She had assumed it was... but now it seemed it must have been Gu Sijiu after all.
"Yes. You nearly fell down the stairs. Take your medicine first, and you can eat something afterward." Gu Sijiu picked up the glass of warm water, then leaned down and moved closer. Song Jinzhi tensed at her approach, but Gu Sijiu had no other intention; she only wanted to help her sit up.
Gu Sijiu gently lifted her shoulders, then placed a soft pillow behind her for support. Song Jinzhi stared blankly at everything Gu Sijiu was doing, wholly unprepared to see this version of her. The scumbag who used to do nothing but mock her whenever she was sick was now proactively taking care of her. Song Jinzhi looked at Gu Sijiu in a daze, especially at the medicine being offered to her. She felt a twinge of worry, could it be poison?
The thought flashed through her mind, and then she immediately scolded herself for letting her paranoia run wild.
Gu Sijiu had absolutely no motive to kill her; it would bring nothing good to her or the Gu Family. With that thought, Song Jinzhi accepted the medicine and took it, murmuring a quiet thank you to Gu Sijiu. Her voice was very low, deliberately softened and barely distinct, but Gu Sijiu still caught it. She raised an eyebrow and glanced at the downcast Song Jinzhi but refrained from teasing her.
"I'll go make some congee for you. Vegetable congee, is that alright?" Gu Sijiu asked, worried Song Jinzhi might not like it. At the mention of her cooking, Song Jinzhi's fever dulled eyes brightened a little. She kept her head lowered, so Gu Sijiu didn't notice the change. Song Jinzhi gave a small "Mm," seemingly indifferent to whatever Gu Sijiu chose to make. Seeing her so casual about it, Gu Sijiu turned and left the room.
Song Jinzhi lay back down, but for some reason, a strange, ticklish sensation began to flutter in the pit of her chest. It was like a feather lightly brushing the hollow of her heart, stroke by stroke, faint but impossible to ignore. Gu Sijiu's care was something Song Jinzhi had never expected. Especially the offer to make congee for her, a treatment Song Jinzhi had never once received.
She rarely got sick, and on the few occasions she did, it was mostly the household staff who looked after her, bringing her machine prepared meals. A bowl of hot congee was something she was experiencing for the very first time. She clutched the cotton quilt and pulled it over half her face, leaving only her nose and eyes exposed. She fought the upward twitch at the corners of her mouth, but she couldn't deny it: being cared for when she was sick felt undeniably wonderful.
Gu Sijiu didn't keep her waiting long. Before long, she returned carrying a bowl of congee. It was not quite the simple vegetable congee Song Jinzhi had imagined. What Gu Sijiu brought in was a small, dainty clay pot. The pot had a lid, but the aroma leaking from beneath it was already faintly discernible. Song Jinzhi fought to keep her curiosity in check, watching Gu Sijiu with a calm expression while still lying in bed.
"Alright, you can eat now." Gu Sijiu placed the clay pot on the side table and slowly lifted the lid. As the fragrance spilled out, Song Jinzhi could finally smell that irrepressibly delicious aroma. She had never imagined a bowl of congee could smell so wonderful. The scent seemed to pierce straight through her cold stuffed nose, thread by thread drifting into the air toward her.
The congee was, indeed, the most ordinary vegetable congee, but Gu Sijiu's method made its flavor anything but ordinary. She had used the finest milled rice grains: ordinary rice, yes, but not whole grains; each grain had been machine cut into delicate, fragmented morsels. Into the white rice congee she had added lightly stir fried vegetables and a small amount of diced pumpkin.
Song Jinzhi stared at the pot of congee. Under the quilt, her hand twisted the sheets. She couldn't deny it, just the aroma alone made her neglected stomach let out a plaintive growl. Song Jinzhi pulled the quilt tighter around herself, terrified that Gu Sijiu might hear the sound. She watched as Gu Sijiu took out a tiny bowl and a small spoon and ladled a serving of congee for her. Song Jinzhi stole a glance at it and thought the bowl seemed far too small... even filled to the brim, such a tiny bowl would hold only a mouthful, wouldn't it? She stared at the palm sized little bowl, and in her heart she actually began to resent its size.
"Do you have the strength to hold it?" Gu Sijiu held out the bowl of congee to her. Song Jinzhi nodded and reached for it, only to find that once her hand was extended, she could muster no strength at all. It was the loss of strength that comes after a drop in blood sugar. Song Jinzhi recognized it and pursed her lips, embarrassed by her earlier show of bravado. Then she heard Gu Sijiu laughing beside her. This infuriated Song Jinzhi so much that she wanted to ignore her out of sheer frustration, yet she couldn't bear to give up that bowl of congee in her hands.
"Forget it, let me feed you. I've never fed anyone before, so if I bump your teeth, bear with it." Gu Sijiu noticed Song Jinzhi's irritation and stopped laughing at her. She held the congee, stirred it a little with the spoon, and brought a spoonful to Song Jinzhi's lips. Although a thousand protests against being fed by Gu Sijiu rose in her heart, her current condition meant she was probably in no position to be stubborn.
Song Jinzhi kept her head lowered, refusing to look at Gu Sijiu, and opened her mouth to take the congee. She had long since experienced the level of Gu Sijiu's cooking and knew this bowl of congee would never taste bad, but the flavor that met her palate still delivered an astonishingly exquisite sensation. The congee was silky smooth and delicately light, filled with the clean sweetness of vegetables and pumpkin, balanced by a faint, savory saltiness. Song Jinzhi could state with absolute certainty that it was the best congee she had ever tasted in her life.
This thought flashed through her mind, leaving her flustered. In the past, she could never have imagined such a harmonious scene between herself and Gu Sijiu: being tended to by Gu Sijiu, being fed congee by Gu Sijiu. Song Jinzhi knew perfectly well she should refuse and resist this person's closeness, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, because she was keenly aware that Gu Sijiu harbored no malice.
Song Jinzhi felt her thoughts were a complete mess right now, to the point where she didn't even know how she ought to treat Gu Sijiu. Awkwardly, she refused to look at her, yet she couldn't bear to refuse the spoonfuls she offered. At the same time, she felt that this act of being fed was far too intimate. Song Jinzhi's mind was a tangled jumble, and her face flushed a deep red. She drank the whole bowl of congee with obvious relish, leaving her with a lingering sense of wanting more.
Song Jinzhi gazed at the empty bowl and lamented once more: the bowls in Gu Sijiu's house were just far too small.
Gu Sijiu seemed to notice that Song Jinzhi hadn't eaten her fill. She glanced at the half emptied clay pot and asked Song Jinzhi if she wanted more, but her companion acted as if she hadn't heard, lowering her head to fiddle with the holographic wristwatch on her arm.
Gu Sijiu silently ladled another bowl of congee and brought it once more to Song Jinzhi's lips. Only then did that person immediately stop her fiddling and open her mouth to drink it.
Gu Sijiu paused at the sight of Song Jinzhi's response. So what exactly did that refusal to answer mean? She clearly wanted more, didn't she? This woman, Song Jinzhi, was truly a bundle of contradictions.
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